Samantha Rodgers' blog

Flourish: Positive Relationships

This one probably goes without saying- the better your relationships with others are, the better we feel!

The key to positive relationships is building security and the ability to explore, rather than the need to protect against being hurt (avoidant attachments) and feeling worried that the loved one will leave (anxious attachment).

Once very simple theory to consider is the ‘Bucket and Dipper’ theory by Don Clifton and Tom Rath. The idea is that we each have a ‘wellbeing’ bucket on our backs and a dipper that we can use to add to or reduce the amount in another’s bucket. Think aboututhe people in your life- do they add or reduce your level? Obviously, surrounding yourself with people who are likely to fill your bucket are going to produce more secure relationship that are better for your own wellbeing.

Another really important concept we covered in the course is ACR- Active Constructive Responding, Shelly Gable, when responding to good news.

Gable: Ways of responding

Obviously, we want to amplify good news by showing genuine interest, rather than ignoring’ stealing, deflating or understating the news, but while it sounds easy, it isn’t. Think about this the next time someone tells you good news. How often do we choose to do something other than amplify- it happens more often than you would think! How will you respond the next time someone gives you good news… and how much will it ‘fill their bucket’?

 

 

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